How To Give A Good Compliment

 

 
   
   
 

There’s nothing like a warm, sincere compliment to make your day. Instead of waiting for one, why not give one out? Take it from me, the more you give, the more you find you’ll receive.
 

1) Make your compliment specific.
 

    “That necklace looks really good on you” makes a bigger impact compared to “you look really good today”. The more specific the better, it makes the person feel like you notice them.

 

2) Back up your compliment.


    Don’t just stop at “that necklace looks really good on you”. Your compliment becomes stronger when you say why you think so; “that necklace looks really good on you because it matches your eyes”.

 

3) Ask a question with your compliment.


    And if you want to use it as a conversational starter, ask a question about the subject of your compliment; “that necklace looks really good on you because it matches your eyes. Where did you find it?”.

 


Why Giving Compliments Raises Your Self-Esteem

It takes confidence and self-esteem to notice good things about others and to make the first caring move to tell them about it

When I first started giving compliments I was awkward and shy about it. I kept wondering if I’d offend them in some way or make people suspicious about what I wanted from them.

I’ve since discovered that a sincere compliment is always a welcome boost to someone’s day. There will be those that reject it or will even argue with you, but that’s usually their problem and not yours. A compliment is like a gift, if someone doesn’t want your gift you’ll still end up owning it. The best way to accept one is also like a gift, just say ‘thank you’.

You’ll also find when you start noticing good things about people, you’ll notice more good things about you too! And the more you do, the more your own self-esteem will grow.


Source : http://lifecoachesblog.com/2007/02/13/how-to-give-a-good-compliment/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Compliments

Compliments are a simple, yet powerful, relationship building tool. There are many different reasons to give a compliment. The most compelling - it makes you feel good. You cannot give a sincere compliment without feeling great. It's impossible. Why does it feel so wonderful to pay a compliment? Because you are connecting honestly, directly, and kindly with another human being. It is a basic need that doesn't get met often in our fast-paced, media-hyped, negative-slanted, technical world.

There are also many hidden benefits to giving compliments. It's amazing that such a small, simple skill like giving away compliments can change the way you view yourself and the world around you. It will strengthen your relationships, boost your self-esteem, and increase your self-confidence. You will experience joy and happiness as you learn to give selflessly.

Each time you give a compliment, you focus completely on the other person. You actively look for positive traits or attributes and specific examples. By doing this on a regular basis (I suggest 5 times a day), you begin to see how richly multifaceted people really are. People's positive traits jump out at you. Your thought processes shifts from looking for the worst in people to looking for the best. Being proactive spills over into your life. You see the possibilities, not the obstacles. Compliment giving is a jump-start for looking at the world in a positive, refreshing, stimulating, and creative way.

Knowing something is good for you doesn't always translate into action. I encourage you to make compliment giving a habit - a compliment habit. All you need to do is give away 5 compliments a day. It doesn't take long to give away five compliments. Five heartfelt, honest to goodness, acts of kindness. It costs nothing but a little time, energy, and the desire to make your life and the lives of others better. Compliments are defined as gracious words, given freely, which create happiness for both the giver and the receiver. They are based on the universal truth - everyone appreciates kindness.

 

 

 

How to accept a Compliment


Learning to receive a compliment graciously allows both the giver and receiver to feel good. Many of us have been conditioned to dismiss compliments.
People who can't accept a compliment do so by deflecting the compliment, downgrading the compliment, or transferring the credit.
It's usually done by saying something like this:
 

  • "Oh, this old thing. I bought it on sale for $2.95."
      
  • "No I'm not."
     
  • "There are other much more deserving people."
     
  • "I've got you fooled, don't I?"
  • "It was just luck."
  • "I really didn't do anything special


    • When you do this, not only do you deny your own enjoyment of the compliment, you rebuff the person giving it to you. If you're uncomfortable being praised or congratulated, then you need to recondition yourself to receive a compliment graciously. There is nothing wrong and everything right about enjoying a compliment. You deserve it. We all deserve them.
     

    In order to accept graciously, all it takes is two words - Thank you. Then stop.
    Don't let anything negative come out of your mouth. Another option is to come up with a few other responses you could become comfortable with, such as:
     

  • "What a nice compliment. Coming from you, I consider that high praise."
     
  • "That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me today (this week, this month, this year, in a long time, etc.)."
     
  • "I didn't know it showed. Thank you for telling me."
     
  • "Thank you. I really appreciate hearing that."
     
  • "Thank you. I like them too. They were a gift and mean a lot to me."

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    This book will also show you:

    • What to do and what not to do when complimenting
    • How complimenting boosts your positive attitude while helping others.
    • The 5 types of compliments
    • How you can pay anyone a compliment with the help of simple, fun, easy, and quick exercises.
    • Over 400 words and phrases you can use to design your own special words of appreciation.

     

     

    Find Something Nice to Say
     

    Custom compliment in 2 easy steps
     

    Step 1 - Decide what you like about the person you are going to compliment.
                     Do any of these things come to mind? Add some of your own ideas.

    • Kind
    • Fair
    • Helpful
    • Honest
    • Reliable
        
    • Friendly
    • Brave
    • Hard worker
    • Good sport
    • Concern for others
        
    • Self-confident
    • Common sense
    • Caring
    • Smart
    • Problem solver
        
    • Courteous
    • Great sense of humor
    • Generous
    • Self-discipline
    • Open minded
        
    • Loves to learn
    • Sunny disposition
    • Warm smile
    • Positive attitude
    • Peaceful nature
        
    • Different way of looking at things
    • Creative
    • Spunky
    • Witty
    • Adaptable
        
    • Flexible
    • Logical mind
    • Perceptive
    • Cheerful


     

    Step 2 - Now add a detailed example of what you mean.

    "You are a very reliable person." (What you like about them from step 1)

    "Whenever we have to work on a project, like the Smith account presentation last month, I know I can depend on you to be through, complete, and timely with the research." (An example of what you like)


    Not sure what to say? Here are a few compliments to chose from.
    Try adding a specific example to custom design it for the compliment receiver.
    Notice that all these compliments start with the same word.
    It's a gentle reminder that compliment giving is about others.
     

    You...

    ...have a great way with words.
    ...are a terrific leader.
    ...make working on a project a joy.
    ...are very creative.
    ...are a good provider.

    ...are fun to be with.
    ...have a great reputation.
    ...are cleaver.
    ...make a house feel like a home.
    ...have a good eye for decorating.

    ...are a good driver.
    ...can do anything you set your mind to.
    ...are capable of accomplishing whatever you believe.
    ...are a good listener.
    ...are very cheerful.

    ...warm my heart.
    ...sing like an angel.
    ...are very handsome/beautiful.
    ...are important to me.
    ...have a terrific outlook on life.

    ...are very intelligent.
    ...are kind.
    ...are a good role model.
    ...are very alert.
    ...are funny.

    ...always motivate me.
    ...are unique.
    ...are very strong.
    ...are a picture of good health.
    ...are courageous.

    ...are very loving.
    ...bring out the best in me.
    ...make me want to be a better person.
    ...make me smile.
    ...are a wonderful cook.

    ...make hot dogs taste like a gourmet meal.
    ...are a wonderful caregiver.
    ...make me feel special.
    ...make me feel I can do anything.
    ...are fun to be with.

    ...are the wind beneath my wings.
    ...are the light of my life.

     


     

    Fun Activities

     

    At the Workplace
     

    Chain of compliments

    • Each employee in an area, department, or workgroup is assigned or selects 2-5 people to compliment, (make sure compliments are evenly spread around). Employees write each compliment on a separate strip of colorful paper.
       
    • After reading their compliments out loud, all of the paper strips are connected together, creating a paper chain.
      Where it is applicable these area/department/workgroup chains could be linked together (maybe with compliments by upper management) in a very long chain.
       
    • If the chain is quiet long, this can be a great public relations story. Take a picture and write a short story or caption about your National Compliment Day activities. Include the number of compliments making up the chain and its length. Send them ASAP to your local newspaper or make arrangements for the paper to cover the story prior to National Compliment Day.

     

    Compliment bulletin board

  • If you don't want to make a chain, collect those same slips of paper and put them on a bulletin board for everyone to see.
    Compliment cards
     
  • Does your organization work with the public? What about asking customers and clients to highlight the good in people. Use a greeter to ask customers to fill out a card for the most helpful employee of the day. Make it simple with just the employee's name and how they were helpful. Or friendliest. Maybe list several categories your customers can choose from.
     
  • How about sending out a survey to your vendors asking the same thing.
     
  • By using Compliment Day as a vehicle you can ask your customers, clients and/or vendors to look for the best in your company. They will always tell you about the worst.

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    Notes from the boss

  • In many places employees only hear when things go wrong. Consider these questions about your current employees and then sit down and write each one a note. What does she/he add to your organization?
     
  • How has she/he improved lately?
     
  • Why are you glad she/he is an employee?
     
  • What would you miss if she/he were to leave?
     
  • Make sure to Include examples

    •  

    Compliment collections

  • Hand out a piece of paper listing all the employees in a area/department/work group with room under each to write a compliment.
     
  • One person then complies the compliments for each person and prints them out on nice paper.
     
  • In one law office these compliments collections were such a hit, they stayed up the whole year. Come January, everyone was asking when they were going to do it again.

    •  

    The benefits of Compliment Day activities

  • Helps people to focus on the positive
      
  • Builds a higher level of trust
  • Raises awareness of the constructive and multifaceted qualities of coworkers
  • Builds a sense of community
  • Models, encourages, and rewards kindness
  • Everyone feels great


    • Source : http://www.complimentday.com/

     

     

     

     

     

     

    How to Give Compliments That Cause People to Bond With You


    Everyone likes compliments, it doesn't matter who you are. We all enjoy it when someone notices us and makes a positive statement to us, or another, about what they saw about us. We all like to be noticed for our good qualities, no matter what they might be. When we compliment someone we are expressing admiration, affection, and or respect, perhaps all three for something about that person.

    This being the case it should make logical sense that if you want to cause someone to even begin to bond with you, giving them a compliment is about the best place to start. First and foremost, when we compliment someone we are sending them a message about them, something positive we see in them. Positive observations by others lift us up and this can have a bonding effect.

    You know how good it makes you feel when someone compliments you. You will have experienced the sensation of pleasure that you get from a compliment at one time or other in your life. But all too often people fail to recognize how good one might feel from our compliment to them, even in the knowledge of how good compliments make us feel.

    Compliments can affect everyone involved, including yourself, in a positive way. For example, we all have things going on in our lives that make things look not as bright as we might like. A compliment from another person could help you put things into a more realistic picture, depending on the coincidence of the compliment. Now, turn that scenario around. If your compliment helps a person to see things more realistically you have just started creating a bond. You will have helped them see that good things still exist, even if things look bleak to them right now.

    Complimenting another person almost always generates nice responses from those we are complimenting. Those nice responses often help open the door to further conversation with that person, which allows you to get to know that person more. In other words, complimenting helps you begin to develop bonds with others.

    Complimentary responses will be bonding in nature, nearly every time. You will hear it, see it, and feel it in those responses you receive from those you are complimenting. Most of us demonstrate a positive response when we are complimented. It's in most of our natures to reciprocate kindness with kindness. And compliments, because they are an expression of kindness, can be very bonding.

    How do you respond when someone compliments you? Or how about when, for example, you're having a bad day and someone compliments you? In both examples, most of us would respond in a positive way because of how good that person made us feel. Those positive feelings you experienced are the very ones others will experience when you compliment them. Moreover, because of that feeling bonds do begin to develop, even slightly, with the one complimenting us.

    Compliments draw people toward you. Compliments are like magnets of attraction, especially when said at the right time. Compliments are positive connections with another person. When you compliment someone you are saying, "I like you."

    Giving compliments brings you out of yourself, if they are genuine compliments, because it requires you to be observant of those around you. Additionally, when you are observant of those around you it becomes much easier to make compliments about them. And the more often you are able to make those compliments the more opportunities you have of creating a bond, with everyone around you. Make a compliment to someone today!

    Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog

     

    Source : http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Give-Compliments-That-Cause-People-to-Bond-With-You

     

     

    Links
    How to make a compliment, comment or complaint
    How to make a compliment, complaint or comment
    How to make a comment, compliment,  or complaint
    How to make a compliment
    How to Compliment Your Date      

     

     

     

     
       
       

     

     

     

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